COLUMN 8
Sydney Morning Herald
Friday January 28, 2011
"Following on from the series of stories of medical abbreviations, as doctors we also often use with our patients euphemisms for banal words and functions that we are too embarrassed to say," writes Dr John Frith, of Paddington. "I used to use the phrase 'How's your plumbing?' for 'Are you having any difficulties passing urine?', until one day an elderly female patient looked at me very strangely and said, 'Thanks doctor, it's fine, I just had my plumber in yesterday, but I have come to see you about some discomfort I've got passing my urine'.""A real estate agent describes a local property as being a 'piste de resistance'," reports James Elliott-Smith, of Lennox Head. "Not sure where this takes me, other than on a not-so-slippery slope to a new state of mind?"Chris Hulley, of Wahroonga, tells us that his favourite acronym is the name given to the "Action Committee Report On New Year Marketing Strategy"."Apropos silly safety instructions," writes Barbara Curtis, of Manly (Column 8, on and off for many moons), "the sticker on the reverse of our life-size surfboard-shaped floor rug says: 'Warning: Not to be used as a life-saving device'."Tennis whiz Li Na of China may have further claims to fame than simply having the shortest name among elite sportspeople. "Is she the only person, let alone tennis player, whose first and second names are symbols for chemical elements?" asks Ronald Watts, of Chatswood. "Even more remarkable, they are both alkali metals."And on the subject of minuscule monikers, "I would have to claim a tie with Pat Yeo for the shortest name of a Column 8 contributor." So writes Ken Ray, of Orange Park, Florida, US. But maybe they both lose out. "The late lamented Ivor F, a prolific contributor to the Herald anywhere he could get a run, beats Pat Yeo by a nose," writes Peter Skinner, of Beecroft. Right on one front, Peter, but wrong on one crucial detail. Yes, Ivor F is shorter, but he is neither late nor lamented. Ivor called Column 8 to say hello just last week."I was listening to AM on ABC radio this morning," writes Brendon Morris, of Mascot, "where they had an interview with a mining executive in Queensland, discussing how they have been dealing with the floods. The executive explained that they would be continuing to 'de-water' the mine over the next few months. What's wrong with a good old-fashioned 'drain'?""I presume that many others have by now pointed out that if you add the year of your birth to your age [at your birthday this year] you arrive at the current year," writes Leo Davies, of Greenwich, and indeed many others have done just that. "Somewhat surprisingly, we all seem to be living in 2011.""I reckon Glenda Murray should be more specific," writes Kin Wong, of Brookvale (Boxes and helmets, Column 8, yesterday). "It's not men, but cricketers who took 100 years to realise that their brains were important."Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)
© 2011 Sydney Morning Herald
